Chrome Disease

Text Box: Chrome Disease

Text Box: Chrome Disease (or CD) is a serious condition that affects the brain and nervous system of truck drivers. While not life-threatening, CD can be devastating financially, as well as wreaking havoc on relationships with other drivers. Symptoms tend to increase over time, and CD is known to be contagious, often affecting a fleet’s entire driver pool.

Text Box: You may have Chrome Disease if you have done any of the following: You have ever programmed Panelite into your speed dial. Spent more time looking at pictures of trucks on the internet than your teenager spends looking at pornography on the internet. Felt like the Titanic as it sank after hitting a pothole. Pulled a load that weighed less than the net weight of all knobs, switches, panels, and assorted trim pieces on your trucks. Stopped under a bridge during a rainstorm to drink coffee. From your chrome thermos.

Text Box: Drivers experiencing the following symptoms should seek help immediately: Counting the number of mudholes in a parking lot before driving into it. Wrapping breathers in aluminum foil. Inability to find safety reflectors in side box because of polish, buffers, spare lug nut covers, rags, etc. Inability to judge sizes of parking spaces or distance to loading docks due to the fear of damaging chrome trim.

Text Box: There is currently no known cure for Chrome Disease, however, treatment options do exist. If you have CD, or exhibit any of the above-mentioned symptoms, contact the Chrome Disease hotline at extension 111, and speak with Dr. Baker. Remember, admitting you have a problem is the first step to rehabilitation.

Disclaimer: Chrome Disease is a fictitious condition and is not recognized as an actual disease by the CDC. The names and numbers mentioned on this page are not medical personnel and cannot help in the case of a real medical emergency. The purpose of this page is trucking industry humor, not to inform of actual medical conditions.